HEY AL, THE JERK STORE CALLED...

Al Davis should be spanked. And not like a latex dungeon fantasy with a whip and ball-gag type of spanking. He needs a spanking with a wooden-handled spatula that will discipline his 7-year old-like business sense and flux-capacitate it 72 years ahead to his real age. What a jaded and immature old man

this guy is.

If you haven't heard by now, Mr. Al, the owner of the Oakland Raiders, recently fired his head coach, Lane Kiffin, for "cause"; or in Raider-fan terms, "failure to get shit done on the motherfuckin' field." Davis, in a press conference the other day, publicly accused Kiffin of actions that were detrimental to the team, including speaking negatively to the media regarding his players and coaches, and not cooperating with the organization on a fundamental level. Ok, so that's acceptable. Airing your grievances in a public forum is fine...to a point. The problem here is that Al Davis and his pillory party for Kiffin became a huge vaudevillian circus, and the only clown in the whole place turned out to be the septuagenarian himself. He read aloud a letter that he wrote Kiffin back at the beginning of September that warned him of his impending firing if Kiffin didn't improve. He not only read it, but he displayed it on an overhead projector for all to see! What a child! Again, I call for a spanking!

I understand that Lane Kiffin might have sucked as a head coach. Maybe he did talk alot of smack about his staff and players, and maybe he did only win 5 out of 19 total games with the Raiders. But there's no way in hell I can support Davis' public trashing of Kiffin. Well, unless they changed his name to Ray Handley. But that's not important. What is important is the fact that no one of caliber - not players, not coaches, not executives - will ever go near the Raiders until Al Davis retires or winds up buried under the 50-yard line of the Oakland Coliseum, Hoffa-style. The stink is too strong for anyone to take this organization seriously under the reign of AD. You've got to seriously be down on your luck or just suck as a person to want to join up with this squad. Hey Michael Vick, there's gotta be a job opening for you in Oakland when you get out of the pen.

So Lane Kiffin, you will have a job somewhere else eventually. The list of fired Raiders coaches prior to you will guarantee that: Mike Shanahan, Jon Gruden, Norv Turner, Art Shell...the list is abundant with proven coaches who are still in the NFL today. Just take the high road for now and let your lips rest. Don't respond to the tactless taunts of a dinosaur. His vestigial business techniques will gain him no points, and hopefully Commissioner Goodell will deal with Al Davis the way he has dealt with so many other man-babies in the NFL. Put a frickin' pacifier in his mouth, Goodie.